By Todd Malloy
Today finding work life balance in this changing world is becoming more and more complex.
For example, 94 percent of service professionals in the U.S. spend over 50 hours working per week, while many of these people work on the weekends. Forty-eight percent of Americans consider themselves to be workaholics, but 72% of people consider work-life balance when job-searching.
Office full of overwhelmed individuals!
With the rising stressors coming in every direction, Fox news, CNN, MSNBC, social media, social and political unrest, race issues, financial and family challenges. Life over the last 6 years has been in a state of constant change. You have been in a constant state of flux, finding your new normal. To find out you need to change again. In all of the shifts and changes you are going through; you are also fluctuating through the experience of grief and loss. Yes, grief and loss go beyond the circumstance of death, it also happens when there is a loss of ideals/hope/joy. However, in all fairness it also a new beginning in the field of all possibilities (should you be open to allowing the perspective).
Think about this; we begin building and forging our direction in life prior to the full development of the mind. Consider this, you were encouraged to choose a direction in life at the end of high school, by the age of 18 for most. Whether the military, straight into the work force, or college. Then in the mid to late twenties 50 percent of us get married. Research states, 50% of first marriages happen when a woman is 25 and the male 27 years of age. It is not until your late twenties does the prefrontal lobe/prefrontal cortex is fully formed. This is where the healthy high-level thinking takes place. This is the executive functioning of the brain. Where the healthiest choices and decisions, for you, are processed and evaluated.
Therefore, prior to your brain being fully formed, at the point your just in your right mind, prior to you functioning fully in your rational mind you make choices and decisions that can affect your entire life. How in life can you find work-life balance when the foundation is established on week footing? Statistics show that in the United States, 50% percent of first-time marriages, 67% of second marriages, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. How can this not have a direct impact on your emotional well-being the quality of your life and professional prowess!
What I am presenting to you is, instead of starting your approach to work life balance by looking for the next bell and whistle, begin finding work-life balance from within and build from there.
There are two sides to every coin. As you begin to journey from within to achieve work-life balance, what is the narrative(s) you have formed in your mind? Is it working for you or against you? You are running in a state of anxiety, conflict avoidant, overly critical, suffering in silence, etc. as a result of the life narrative or story that began in your childhood. Am I enough, is this good enough, fear of competition, competing priorities, emotional insecurities, challenges with being honest with yourself and the environment around you. Just because I get it done does not mean it did not come at a cost, that ripples to the other aspects of your life. Are you driven by anxiety or are you being intentionally strategic through self-awareness, emotional intelligence, soft skill development which include self-regulation of one’s emotions?
You have varying forms of media to teach you time management skills. Do this, do that! But at the end of the day, you are still stressed out trying to create time. Remember, life is dynamic and not static! Accordingly, fixed, rigid self-help one-size-fits-all concept may not be the best tool for you. Each moment variables can change. Everyone is different. As variables change, they are testing your inner workings, coping skill and strategies.
The question is, are you attempting to mandate time (which you cannot control) or are you trying to address the mindset of how you approach the time allotted? My perspective is the latter. The underpinning of your mindset is the foundational experiences of your rearing. The emotional impact of the experiences, cultural and societal norms, ethnic influences, religious influences, all translate into a mental story or life view you have created, based on your foundational experiences. There is an adage, that states: As a human thinks, so is that human.
In this modern-day society that is speeding up by the moment, maintaining your move in passion and purpose, having an active life, family issues and concerns, on top of your own personal care and life transition, personally, professionally, and hormonally, there are more moments than you care to count that you are overwhelmed, exhausted and at times running on empty. You do not have to live like this. By addressing the psychological underpinning of who you are, you can facilitate the liberation of a life worth celebrating at every layer of your life, in balance and harmony.
I am going to take a leap of faith here and trust that you are connecting to times you have dreaded an action or a task you should accomplish ultimately achieving and identified goal.
In the midst of processing all of the data points of a choice, decision, or actions, I encourage my clients, and you, as I have for myself, to “Slow Down To Speed Up!” Stop, slow down, connect to your experience, and be honest with yourself about the impact, on you, of the demand(s), are they relevant, based on the data points.
Then assess the availability of your resource’s tangible and intangible! Recalibrate, given the collected data, and ask yourself, what are the possible solutions to determine which option or narrative works best for me? Key point, people are so focused on eternal acceptance and ques, you too often disregard yourself in the calculation. Individuals who suffer from the trauma of emotional neglect have a high propensity to negate their impact or personal cost. They tend to focus on meeting the wants and needs of the stakeholder and move forward. Count yourself, along with the major stake holders. Then during the execution of the plan adapt and adjust real time to the shift and associated process challenges internal and external.
In this moment I want to save you immediate money, with these 3 steps! Instead of starting with buying another self-help books.
Start with self-investigation, look within, and journal your thought experiences and impact the encounters have had on you.
Upon completion of this complete brain dump, read what you have written, look for patterns of behavior, feeling/emotions, their origins, and how they are impacting you today. This is the beginning of your inner workings, to develop a customized plan to create a work/life balance.
In completing step 2 you will begin to understand the triggers to your emotional unrest in most situations and begin to identify coping skills and strategies that transform the impact of identified triggers to emotional unrest.
As I often share, nothing happens in a vacuum, the identified unhealthy constructs have a rippling effect into the other dimensions of your life. Causing the work life imbalance.
You are so often looking to adorn yourself with the latest style, trends, and fads, and bright smile to cover your internal pain. Cloaked under the mask of the representative self. The self-help industry is an and eleven billion revenue generators in the US alone and approximately 4.2 trillion dollars globally.
With all that you have invested for your own personal growth and development why are you still suppressed, not fully embracing, or achieving your highest self? At times tripping yourself up, in the pursuit of passion purpose and destiny. The missing link is your connection and insight into yourself. You can live a life worth celebrating at every layer of life.
If you are ready to gain clarity, confirmation and assertiveness in attaining your professional goals, uncover and embrace your truest self, and discover what brings you joy and how to live a life worth celebrating, then reach out to Todd Malloy today. Visit www.ToddMalloy.com to schedule an obligation-free discovery session and begin your journey to life and business success.
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Todd Malloy is a Life and Business Strategist on a mission to be a resource for people and businesses to mature and blossom in achieving their goals. Todd helps individuals give themselves permission to be the person they are on the inside that doesn’t always manifest outwardly. He considers himself to be a part of the solution to the challenges of life that plague individuals from prospering in there most empowered authentic selves.
For business leaders and professionals, Todd works with the whole team to process thoughts, manage stress and pressures, provide clarity, and achieve staff, culture and personal goals, i.e., enhancing the bottom line, profitability.
By challenging thought process and instituting new avenues of thought, Todd facilitates the removal of internal barriers / walls / self-sabotage and to ultimately guide people to the successful life they desire.